June 11, 1999

Well you will not guess who I say today. It was the last person in the whole world I could ever want to see. Cody. I was coming out of teaching swim lessons so I just had my bathing suit and a towel. He was standing by my car. I guess I’ll have to tell you all about Cody now.

Okay I went with some friends who I wasn’t really close with to an amusement park. Cody was with them. He is not exactly the cutest guy in the world. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think a guy has to look like a model for me to like him. I am not a mean person though so I talked to him and was nice. Well I hate water rides with a passion, so I wouldn’t go on those. Well he didn’t go on water rides either. I am one of those people who can talk with anyone about anything. So I was just blabbing away and talking to him. I think he thought that I liked him, so he started liking me too. Well, he was not my style in anyway whatsoever. Well one of my friends told me he liked me. I think he told one of the guys there and it worked its way around the group. So after that I kind of cooled off towards him. Maybe that was mean, but I seriuosly did not want to lead him on because that is way wrong. Maybe I should have said something to him about it, but I didn’t. I can talk to anyone about anything, but I hate to say something that will hurt someone’s feelings. But what I didn’t say hurt his feelings so I am pretty sure he hates me now.

So I see Cody. Well I feel so bad about the whole situation anyway. It made me feel sick to my stomach. My hands were shaking while I fumbled to get into my car. I don’t know why. I guess because I felt so guilty, like it was my fault he liked me. I hate to hurt people’s feelings in anyway. But there was just no way I could ever go out with him.

Well tomorrow I have to pack up my bags and leave for camp. Hopefully I will have a lot to write about when I come back. I hate to go to camp and have nothing interesting happen. Interesting things are supposed to happen at camp. I mean it is the only time I don’t have to answer to my parents every night.

I wanted to tell about the dream that helped me name this webpage. I like agonized for weeks about what to name it. I dreamed that I was running down these stairs. The stairs were like submerged in water though. I was running to a guy. However I was running away from my wedding to this other guy. (I don’t know who either was) Well since the steps were submerged in water, they were really slippery. Well I slipped and got knocked out. Well the guy I was running away from ran down and was like holding me. He was so upset that I was hurt, but he was still mad at me for running away. Well in the background was playing “Elsa’s Obssession”. It is a piece from an opera. The dream was so lifelike that it made a big impression on me. I thought about it all day. So I decided to name my web page that. The weird thing about my dreams is that they either interpret really well or that they come true. I don’t think I’m psychic or anything. Well that is all I have to say today.

See ya later!!!